The Help Families Need to Overcome Substance Dependence
Trauma is a family affair, and our approach to substance dependence treatment ought to reflect that
By Stacy Phillips
A version of this essay first appeared at The Imprint.
Addiction fractures families, shattering the fabric of familial bonds and often wrenching children from their homes. It is often framed as an individual’s battle, but the reality is that it affects entire families—especially children. For families caught in the grip of addiction, the lack of comprehensive, family-centered support systems can have devastating consequences.
Unfortunately, I know this struggle intimately. I am a mother of three sons whose father battled drug dependence. While each of my boys coped in his own way, the roller coaster of their father’s relapses, recoveries and ongoing treatment burdened us all and left us untethered. I watched my children struggle to understand their father’s battle while desperately trying to keep our family afloat.
One of my sons channeled his energy into academics and sports, using structure as a shield against the chaos. Another internalized the pain, often feeling anger and resentment toward his father’s choices. My third son took on responsibilities far beyond his years, becoming a caretaker for the entire household. Reflecting on those turbulent times, I see how substance dependence affected more than just the person directly struggling—it permeated every aspect of our lives.
I am grateful that I was divorced and that my children lived with me, avoiding the immediate threat of Child Protective Services (CPS) intervention. I shudder imagining the potential intrusion and added trauma of having to prove our ability to keep our children safe while grappling with the chaos of addiction. And as someone who was once a CPS worker and intervened in the lives of other families, I now ponder how CPS involvement compounded the stress level of families in need and destabilized them in an already overwhelming time. Many families I worked with had been affected by substance dependence, and CPS visits often resulted in family upset and child removal.
When someone is diagnosed with cancer, communities rally around them, bringing food, offering help and showing compassion. But when someone is suffering from the disease of substance dependence, our response is starkly different. The problem, however, is not limited to CPS. It’s systemic and pervasive, involving an entire network of judges, guardians ad litem and other officials, particularly in rural areas, who often lack the background, education and understanding necessary to truly assist families. These officials frequently operate from a place of judgment rather than empathy, exacerbating the trauma these families endure.
Traditional substance dependence treatment focuses almost exclusively on the person with the disorder, offering medical interventions, therapeutic services and support groups like 12-step programs. But support is often lean or lacking for the affected family. The family’s collective well-being must be considered in any meaningful recovery effort. Our systems focus on individuals, forgetting that trauma occurs within relationships.
Family-centered approaches offer a practical and compassionate solution to this pressing issue. Peer recovery coaches—individuals who have personally overcome substance dependence—bridge the gap between clinical treatment and real-world support. These coaches offer emotional, social and practical assistance, helping those struggling with substance dependence stay engaged in their recovery.
Unlike traditional treatment providers, peer recovery coaches understand the family’s experience because they’ve lived it themselves. Their empathetic approach is crucial in fostering sustained recovery and reducing the risk of relapse.
Integrating these supports into the CPS framework and other healthcare settings could prioritize family preservation, promote healing and reduce the need for child removal, ultimately leading to better outcomes for both the individual and their family. True healing must happen within relationships; otherwise, we are merely putting a Band-Aid on fractured attachments and deep-seated triggers, expecting the system to heal without addressing its core wounds.
Studies indicate that involving families in the recovery process significantly improves treatment outcomes. Likewise, Journal of Substance Use and Addiction Treatment studies emphasize that family-centered peer recovery coaching interventions have lasting positive effects on family cohesion and stability. These interventions contribute to reducing future substance use episodes among family members and promote resilience, leading to sustained recovery outcomes for the individual and collective growth for the family.
Having a coach who understood the intricacies of substance dependence within the context of our family could have helped my boys navigate their father’s relapses, treatment and recovery with greater empathy and unity. It would have given us a shared language and support system, fostering a deeper connection and offering a roadmap for healing.
It’s time to reimagine how we approach substance dependence within families. By supporting families, rather than dismantling them when they are most vulnerable, we can create a path toward genuine recovery, resilience and long-term healing.